Below are the 11 most recent journal entries recorded in Adam Cuerden's LiveJournal:

Wednesday, January 3rd, 2007
1:27 pm	Encyclopaedia Britannica falls for Discovery Institute Propaganda (repost from Waffle) From http://www.britannica.com/eb/article-9432671/intelligent-design I cannot believe this. It ignores all the criticism deservedly heaped upon Intelligent Design. It ignores Kitzmiller, it parrots all their claims uncritically. Perhaps the full version is better, but if they're putting this shoddy work up online as a sample of their expertise, I'll take Wikipedia. frankly. Let's have a look: ( Read more... ) (23 Comments |Comment on this)
Saturday, September 10th, 2005
6:08 pm	The Sun and Stupidity: Part II Grabbed a copy so I could quote the article. Mainly because of a possibly vain hope that by spreading the article away frm the Sun's core audience [idiots] I can get this bastard fired, preferably with a public tar and feathering. The Sun, Saturday September 10, 2005 Page 21, "Clarkson" In the last couple of weeks everyone has been asking how on earth the greatest and most powerful nation on earth could be o crippled by a bit of wind and rain The rest of the world has disasters without the whole of society falling to pieces. So what is it different in America? Well, if you stop and think about it, the answer is obvious America may have given the world the space shuttle and, er, condensed milk, but behind the veneer of civilisation most Americans barely have the brains to walk on their back legs. It's scientifically accepted that the stupidest creature on God's earth is alobster because it only knows to eat when presented with food and lash out when threatened. Remind you of anything? Even the President manages to get completely lost in his own sentences. "I love to bring people into the Oval Office and say, "This is where I office," he once said. Proving that, in fact, we never misunderestimated him at all. More recently we got this little nugget. "Rarely is the question asked: 'Is our children learning?'" Well, since most of them can't place their own country on a map, leave alone anyone else's, the answer is: No, not really. A few years ago I was told by a cheerily daft Forida policeman that you don't need common sense when you've got rules. And he absolutely could not see he got it the wrong way round. Later on the same trip I was told on a plane in Dallas to uncross my legs during take-off. "It's a federal requirement," said the stewardess, who had plainly never thought what possible difference the position of a passenger's legs could make if the jet crossed into something solid at 520mph. Then there was the time when, in a Reno shopping mall, I was told to put my shoes back on. "It's a state law," said the guard. I see, so someone raised this at a meeting. It was discussed. There was a vote. And now it's on a statute book. That people must wear shes while shopping in Nevada. Sounds a bit far-fetched to me. [He gives further examples. By the end there's... maybe one, two that are genuinely stupid acts and about six that make it clear he's an arsehole and an idiot.] This is the problem. These people are told rules exist and they should not use common sense to question them. So, when the rules and everything else were washed out of New Orleans, everyone went to the default setting of the terminally stupid: Violence. I'm not talking about the armed gangs now. I'm talking about the authorities who, rather than try and feed the poor and needy, summoned the Marines and started acting like they were in a Hollywood film. "They've got M16s which are locked and loaded," said one official. And I bet she hadn't the first idea what "locked and loaded" meant. She'd just heard Bruce Willis said at at some point and thought it sounded good.2 Hollywood has taught America that the military can solve anything. It's full of chisel-jawed heroes who never leave a man on the field and never fail to get the job done. So they'd have New Orleans sorted out in a jiffy. Unfortunately, on the streets you've got some poor, starving soul helping themselves to a packet of food from a ruined, deserted supermarket. And as a result, finding themselves being blown to pieces by a helicopter gunship. With the none-too-bright soldiers urged on by their illiterate political masters, the poor and needy never stood a chance. It's easier and much more fun to abhor someone than make them a cup of tea. [He then concludes by describing all Americans as racist bigots. But that's quite enough, no?] (3 Comments |Comment on this)
4:20 pm	The Sun and The Stupidity. Today, having forgotten to bring a book to a café and having rather a long wait for my liver and onions, I, with some reluctance, picked up a copy of that British tabloid for idiots, "The Sun" Every time I have cause to look at this damn tabloid it seems to get stupider, and today took the biscuit. After a piece saying we should emulate Italians, who deported an Islamic cleric to Morocco for "criticising" their role in Iraq (which I hope isj ust really poor verb choice, not an accurate description of Italian policy), I came to an article about how the falling apart of New Orleans was because Americans are all idiots only held together by a belief in bureaucracy that lets them be led like sheep. The sad thing is that summary can't even begin to compare to the amount of bashing in the original. Evidently we (for I was born and raised there) are so stupid we barely have the instincts to eat and attack, nothing else. And this is the newspaper talking about expelling people who are trying to stir up hate? (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Tuesday, September 6th, 2005
11:40 am	The Horse and His Boy, by C.S.Lewis Been having a bit of a week of nostalgia, rereading C.S.Lewis (who I haven't read since i was, oh, 15 or so. I was pleasantly surprised to find him an even better author thhan I remembered. Quick read, though - I've read two of his books already today and it's only 11am. However, the reason I bring up The Horse and His Boy in particular is that it has huge numbers of what are now fantasy clichés - and makes them work. (Spoilers follow, I fear.) It features a runaway bride, fleeing an arranged marriage. It has a peasant who's really the heir to a kingdom. It has talking animal companions - and all of them work, and realising why they work, unlike the majority of books with those plot elements made me realise why I hate those plots normally: The runaway bride is probably 14, maybe even a little younger. She has no objection with arranged marriages as such, but her stepmother arranged a marriage for her with someone she both thinks is untrustworthy, and who is old and ugly (though set to become Grand Vizier) This part of the narrative is told in retrospect by her in the style of an Arabian Nights tale, which brilliantly suspends belief over any of the fantastical elements, with interjections from the others to keep thefact that it's been exaggerated a little. It's a brilliant narrative trick - evil stepmothers, being stopped from committing suiceide by a talking horse, and coming up with a plan (with the horse's aid) to distract her father flow quickly and breezily, with interjections from the two talking horses and the peasant heir keeping things grounded. Besides the ingenious Arabian nights overlay of that chapter, what really caught my attention was that, though she was quite young and most runaway brides I've seen have been significantly older, the others still acted at about the same level of maturity. (Indeed, if anything, Aravis acts more maturely than most - She comes up with a clever plan to distract her father from noticing she'd be gone for some time - going off to do a religious rite alone then sending off a forged letter ostensibly from her fiacée saying that, whilst coming to marry her he met her by chance just as she finished the religious ceremony, and they decided not to wait but elope instead. In short, Aravis acts her age, comes up with a sensible plan, and acts like a person from her culture throughout. Fantastical elements are got around both by the style of the storytelling and by some of them (the talking horse, for instance) having already been introduced and normalised for two chapters. The reasons most runaway brides give - angsting about wanting romantic love, say - are foreign to her culture (as they are to most runaway bride's cultures!) and not touched upon. Best of all, she and the peasant heir being young means that we get to see the development of friendship, not angsty romance. (even if the epilogue does mention that they married when they grew up so they could argue and make up more conveniently) Next, the pesant heir. As mentioned above, he's quite young. His father is stil alive, and the person he ends up replacing is his rambunctuous twin, who he likes and is rather embarrassed about replacing. What really makes the trope work is his age: He has plenty of time for education left, and at the book's end it's made clear he'll get it. Finally, the talking animal companionss. Little more need be said than that both of them have just as strong of personalities as anyone else in the book, and participate fully in conversations, planning, and have character development - Bree, for instance, learns to get over some of his pompous pride. They aren't just there when the author wants them to be, or mere transport with a few bonus sarcastic comments. In short, a lot of fantasy authors could learn a lot from C.S. Lewis. (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Tuesday, August 30th, 2005
12:51 am	Harry Potter and the Ship of Fools - Harmonian Rewrite of the Half-Blood Prince, Chapter 10 Galfridus: 'sneaking up behind Arac* Right, Soldier! Atten-shun! *Arac instinctively does so* Forrrard MARCH! Hup two three four! Hup two three - Heh. they have you well-trained, don't they? Arac: Eh? *stops marching and looks over at Galfridus. Dammit, don't *do* that! Galfridus: *grinning* So, what's on the docket for today, eh? Arac: Drinkin'. I'm puttin' that in first, because I know yer about to spring another essay and chapter on me. Galfridus: *grins* Don't worry, they're short. Arac: *rolls his eyes* Well, onward, then.... ...These few canonical oversights are pieces of evidence that the Ron and Hermione shippers use mainly to support the Ron/Hermione romance and they can be pointed out by a seven year old fan, which tells us that all of their evidence is obvious. Galfridus: Right, then! That's a confession. Off to the pub. Arac: *holding Galfridus back* He says it's an oversight. Galfridus: Oh. Damn! JKR's quote is canon as well and it says "read in between the lines" Arac: No, advice that you should read between the lines isn't canon. It says nothing about the characters, the plot, or anything else. It's merely reading advice. Galfridus: Well, if they don't know what canon is, maybe they are reading different books... so it has to be subtle or inconspicuous. The ship that is going to happen has evidence that may not be seen as easily as the Ron and Hermione shippers think it will be. Galfridus: Going to happen, eh? Looks like yer mistaken there, boyo. Arac: *grins* Fun to see pomposity proven wrong, eh? ( Chapter 10: The Hour of Gaunt ) (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Wednesday, July 6th, 2005
10:44 am	G8 Protests So, I live in Edinburgh, and have been basically confiined to near my house for a week due to the rioting and such attendant on the G8 protests. I just fail to believe this is having any effect on the G8. People coming thousands of miles to protest... It just seems there's better uses for that week of their time: Help reconstruct Afghanistan. Dig wells in Africa. Raise money for charities. Give the money you'd spend to a homeless shelter. It'd probably do far more good as a whole. (6 Comments |Comment on this)
Wednesday, May 11th, 2005
9:14 pm	Meme from Ghoti Right'n! I've chosen some books from next to my bed. Here's the first lines. See if you can guess 'em. 1. Polly cut off her hair in front of the mirror, feeling slightly guilty about not feeling very guilty about doing so. Monstrous Regiment by Terry Pratchett. 2. Of all the ships upon the blue No ship contained a better crew Than that of worthy Captain Reece, Commanding of The Mantlepiece. The Bab Ballads. W.S. Gilbert 3. Ignoring the frantic cries of startled protest from the secretary, the thirteen-hole Prayer-Wear Boots of the Highest Priest smashed their way into the Bifurcated and tubular Sundial company Ltd and stomped onwards. 4. Bam! Bam! Bam! It sounded like someone was knocking with a sledgehammer. I rolled over and cracked a bloodshot eye. I couldn't see a figure through the window, but that wasn't surprising. I could barely make out the lettering on the grimy glass: Sweet Silver Blues, Glen Cook 5. It may be safely assumed that, two thousand years ago, before Cæsar set foot in southern Britain, the whole country-side visible from the windows of the room in which I write, was in what is called "the state of nature." (Later, in part 14 of the Prolegomena) What is often called the struggle for existance in society (I plead guilty to having used the term too loosely myself) is a contest, not for the means of existance, but for the means of enjoyment. Those who occupy the first places in this practical competitive examination are the rich and the influential; those who fail, more or less, occupy the lower places, down to the squalid obscurity of the pauper and the criminal. Upon the most liberal estimate, I suppose the former group will not amount to two per cent of the population. I doubt if the latter exceeds another two per cent.; but let it be supposed, for the sake of argument, thatit is as great as five per cent. [Footnote: Those who read the last Essay in thisvolume will not accuse me of wishing to attenuate the evil of the existance of this group, whether great or small.] As it is only in the latter group that anything comparable to the struggle for existance in the state of nature can take place; as it is only among this twentieth of the whole people that numerous men, women, and children die of rapid or slow starvation, or of the diseases incidental to permanently bad conditions of life; and as there is nothing to prevent their multiplication before they are killed off, while, in spite of greater infant mortality, they increase faster than the rich; it seems clear that the struggle for existance in this class can have no appreciable selective influence upon the other 95 per cent of the population. What sort of sheep breeder would he be who should content himself with picking out the worst fifty out of a thousand, leaving them on a barren common till the weakest starved, and then letting the urvivors go back to mix with the rest? And the parallel is too favourable; since in a large number of cases, the actual poor and the convicted criminals are neither the weakest nor the worst. In the struggle for the means of enjoyment, the qualities which ensure success are energy, industry, intellectual capacity, tenacity of purpose, and, at least as much sympathy as is necessary to make a man understand the feelings of his fellows. Were there none of those artificial arrangements by which fools and knaves are kept at the top of society insterad of sinking to their natural place at the bottom, [Footnote: I have elsewhere lamented the absence from society of a machinery for facilitating the descent of incapacity, "Administrative Nihilism." Collected Essays, vol i. p. 54] the struggle for the means of enjoyment would ensure a constant circulation of the human units of the social compound..... 6. Chapter 1. In which there is more Ale than Arguement. It was on a blusterous windy night in the early part of November, 1812, that three men were on the high road near to the little village of Grassford, in the south of Devonshire. 7.'Will you all be quiet!' hissed High Chancellor Querida. She pouched up her eyes and glared around the table. 'I was only trying to say--' a king, an emperor and several wizards began. ... And Wizard Barnabas, who was Vice-chancellor of the University, simply went on talking. '...trying to say, Querida, that you don't understand what it's like. You're a woman. You only have to be the Glamorous Enchantress. Mr Chesney won't let women do the Dark Lord.' 8.Prince Rupert rode his unicorn into the Tanglewood, peering balefully through the drizzling rain as he searched half-heartedly for the flea hiding somewhere under his breastplate. Blue Moon Rising, by Simon R. Green 9. Mr. George Lawrence, C.M.G., First Class District Officer of His Magesty's Civil Service, sat at the door of his tent and viewed the African desert scene with the eye of extreme disfavour. From Part II of the book: 'I think, Perhaps, that if Very Small ______ were allowed to live, he might retreive his character and find a hero's grave,' said the Lieutenant. 'And what would he do if he found a hero's grave?' enquired the captain. 'Pinch the flowers off it and sell them, I suppose. As for retreiving his character, it is better not retreived. Better left where it is - if it is not near inhabited houses, or water used for drinking purposes...' 'Oh, please let him live,' interrupted Faithful Hound. 'He is very useful at times, if only to try things on.' 10.Enter Face, in a captain's uniform, with his sword drawn, and Subtle with a vial, quarrelling, and followed by Dol Common. The Alchemist, by Ben Jonson 11. We are members of a secret society (Hush!) Floating by the moon's uncertain disc Our motto is "revenge without anxiety" (Hush!) That is, without unnecessary risk. The Mountebanks, by W.S. Gilbert and Alfred Cellier 12. Character Creation Basics, Follow these steps to create a beginning, 1st-level character. D&D Player's Handbook 3.0 edition (19 Comments |Comment on this)
Thursday, April 15th, 2004
12:51 am	One Question LOTR Litmus Test We've all thought about it at one time or another..... THE ONE QUESTION LOTR LITMUS TEST How does your character feel about Gimli? A. He's ugly and nasty! B. He's beneath her notice/He's more or less written out C. Amusing Monkey D. She's an elf, and I've read the hobbit and know about the elvish prejudice against dwarves, so am trying to portray that realistically. It's one of her major faults, and a good source of character growth E. He's her true love! F: He's Legolas' True Love! G. Seems alright. A, B or C = MARY SUE! SPORK IT NOW! D or G: Probably alright. E: Write it well and get a cult following! F: Pseudocanonical slash. (Comment on this)
Monday, April 12th, 2004
10:25 pm	Story Or Series Title: Jonah Chapter 5 Fandom: Bible *whimper* Culprit Author's Name:Pouring Rain Full Name (plus titles if any): Jonah Full Species(es): Prophet Annoying Origin: son of Amittai (Jonah 1:1) Annoying Connections To Canon Characters: Is one, sort of. Annoying Special Abilities: Smitey! Other Annoying Traits: Actually, he's the same annoying ass as he is in the bible. Except this author sort of missed the point and made him be right. I'm afraid that I'd best explain the story for those who weren't raised Fundamentalist Christian like myself (I got better.) Jonah is a story about prejudice. Jonah hates the people of Nineveh, so he tries to flee to Tarshish to avoid preaching to them and saving them. God drags him back there using the famous whale, and he reluctantly preaches to them. They convert. Jonah is upset that God didn't smite them, so God provides him with an object lesson in the form of a gourd that shades him from the sun as he mopes for a couple days, but then God destroys it. Jonah complains, God explains that: Then said the LORD, Thou hast had pity on the gourd, for the which thou hast not laboured, neither madest it grow; which came up in a night, and perished in a night: And should not I spare Nineveh, that great city, wherein are more then sixscore thousand persons that cannot discern between their right hand and their left hand; and also much cattle? Jonah 4:10-11 It's a kind of odd story, but the focus is on Jonah learning to accept the Lord's ways, and get over his prejudice. This story misses the point entirely, adding on a fifth chapter so that Jonah can be shown to be right in hating Nineveh. Please include a small sample of the worst of this story: I quote exactly as it's written. He had the gall to divide it into verses. 1And Jonah rose up from his booth, and traveled back to the city of Ninveh. 2 Upon entering the city gates, Jonah was amazed at what he saw. 3 He saw the city of Ninveh in a state of destruct, much the way that he had seen it when he first came to the city. 4 People were running amok; the town was in a state of disarray. 5 People were sinning everywhere; people were murdering each other, stealing, and doing every bad thing imaginable. Riight.... Even the animals were participating. Eww! What's this about, bestiality? 6 Animals, children, the elderly, and even infants were sinning uncontrollably. Can infants actually sin? I thought they were considered innocent for a year or two. 7And Jonah could not believe what he saw. 8 Jonah cried out to G-d, "Look at these people! They have so quickly returned to their evil ways! They hath not the capacity to truly repent!" 9 G-d said to Jonah, "I have taken pity on these people once, I do not intend to do so once more. Go down to Ninveh, and tell them my will." 10 And Jonah obeyed G-d, and went to the people of Ninveh. 11 Jonah said, "In ten days, Ninveh will be destroyed." 12 But the people of Ninveh laughed at him, and said, "We were spared once already by your G-d, we will be spared again!" 13 Jonah said nothing and left the city. The people don't repent, so... 16 On the tenth day, Jonah once again entered Ninveh and said, "I have warned you of your fate. You have shown no desire to reform your evil ways. You will now pay the price." 17 When Jonah finished his speech, the people of Ninveh laughed at him and ignored his warnings. 18 As Jonah left the city, a mighty wind swept by. The city was overturned and all of the people and animals there died. 19 Jonah said to G-d, "Has this been your plan all along? First you grant these sinners atonement, then you decide to overturn their city?" 20 G-d replied to Jonah, "I am the Lord Almighty. I grant atonement to those who have the strength to stop sinning and reform their ways. I love my people, and do not wish to have to destroy them. 21 "All people, of Israel or not, and all creatures and objects bow down to me. The sailors showed proper reverence, despite their devotion to other fake gods." fake gods? you mean idols? 22 "The large sea creature Just say fish. Don't try to force agreement between fish and whales - it's only modern usage that defines whales as not being fish. obeyed my commands to partially digest you. The plant grew, and the worm devoured it." 23 "All of this occurred to teach you and the rest of the world of my power and greatness. I am the Lord your, your G-d." That's a pretty big chunk of the fic - it's so small that it's hard to avoid quoting too much, but... *sigh* if you're trying to write Bible fanfiction, make sure you understand what you're talking about!</b></b> (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Tuesday, December 9th, 2003
7:04 pm	MAry Sue Parody for Pride and Prejudice Heh... forgot I had done this thing. Pride and Prejudice fafiction is (thank god) largely Sue free, and that which is Sueish is usually written by good authors intentionally putting a friend into the story for birthday giffts and such, and is pretty clearly labelled as such. Even still, one too many cries of "Oh, I wish Darcy would say Dearest, Loveliest ______ to me resulted in this little story.... Dearest, Loveliest [Fill in your name here] Mwahahah! (Comment on this)
Monday, September 29th, 2003
5:20 pm	Well, here I am.... It would appear that I'm too ill to go to University for the Fresher's Fair if I'm to go to my rehearsal (Iolanthe and Orpheus in the Underworld) tonight, so... rehearsal wins out. I don't think it's contagious, anyway, and I can still sing, so... If the attendance is decimated next week, then oops. And tomorrow I have to get to that meeting at the University. Ah, well! Anyway. That's my life just now. More later. Current Mood: sick Current Music: L'Elisir d'Amore - Donizetti (Comment on this)